Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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