I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
