The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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