i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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