Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
