i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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