i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize