Non-Jews are for practice
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize