He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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