I look better un-naked...
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
