Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
