If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
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Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
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I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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