How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
