Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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