i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
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