Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize