Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
