She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize