You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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