who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
