we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
