so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
pray to the hookup gods
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
