Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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