i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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