now i know why i became what i already was.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
