Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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