Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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