"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
