More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize