If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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