I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
