You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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