My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
