it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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