This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize