Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
