how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
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