I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
