we made out on top of his cat.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Randomize
