We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
