apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
