your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
And then he peed in my hair
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