Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize