What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
