there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Randomize
