i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
