I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
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Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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