areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Farmville is her only friend.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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