none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize