so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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