i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
