Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
