my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
