its not stalking. its research.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
