Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
