i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
