I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
